Things bringing me comfort and hope today:
- Downton Abbey-I’ve probably re-watched this show at least a couple-dozen times, and I have no doubt that I will watch it another score of times, at least. It’s familiar, it’s comfortable, it’s beautiful. And it reminds me that despite the many times I asked, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived wouldn’t watch any of the movies with me, despite me stating several times that it was something that I really wanted us to do together. Dickface.
- Vodka tonics-Look dudes, I know I am self-medicating here. And I know that the only way out of the pain is through it, and to feel it. But for literal fuck’s sake, I am feeling the pain, and grief, and sadness, and anger all the time, all day. If some stiff drinks at night lift this heavy feeling that is constantly knotted in my stomach, I say, Cheers! Now if only someone can alter the blood labs I have to get done before the end of the month.
- Crazy Aunt Purl-Oh my stars and garters, why did I think of her last week? The way that her blog and words and honesty and courage got me through a very bad time in 2006. The way that she reinvented herself. 20 years have passed and she now lives in Wales with her partner, for chrissake. (Although a couple of times today, I caught myself wondering if I should get a couple more cats, like Laurie used to have. And then caught myself and gave myself a scolding: “Lord, Melissa, the last time you tried to emulate Laurie, you ended up stuck in Southern California for 10 years. Maybe hold off on feline acquisition for a bit.”) Regardless, hers is a familiar and comforting story. Kind of like Downton Abbey, but with more yarn, and less imperialism.
- Tonight’s freeze warning: So, we are still in early April. Here in Central and Southern Indiana, we sometimes get snow well into April. But this year, just as we’ve had more snow and bitter cold than normal, we’ve also had some freakishly warm (like 80 degree warm) days even before the start of spring. Tonight, we have a freeze warning, and I suspect that it will be the last one we get until October, or maybe even November. That’s 6-7 months from now. The seasons will be different, and change then. I will be different, too. I will not be stuck where I am in this moment. Seasons will march on and evolve, and so will I. Even if it doesn’t feel like it in this moment.
Change is inevitable. So is evolution. I am not exempt.
