Plague Diaries, Issue 49: April 30, 2020

And just like that, it's the end of April.

Despite the apocalypse, despite social distancing, despite countless cancelled meetings and adventures and appointments, I still tried to stick with my planner over this past month. And surprisingly--or perhaps not, since nature abhors a vacuum--various projects and meetings and social engagements managed to fill some of those blank spaces.

Judging by my "to-dos" for the month, I didn't manage to realize many (most?) of my aspirations, but that's okay. (That's normal for me, in fact.) I think I've finally managed to let go of most of my expectations of productivity during this time. And yet...I did manage to achieve certain things--I cooked a fair amount, I used my exercise bike regularly, did yoga several times, read six books, blogged every day, and oh yeah, didn't die.

So, that was my April, different from every April I've ever experienced before. In the next day or so, I'll try to settle down and plan May, which will be painfully different from what I had anticipated, although I don't know quite what will transpire. Personally, I think we all need to settle the fuck down and wait another month before we re-open the country, but I think that ship has sailed. So how much work will I be doing at the library in May? Will The Prof try to resume her summer plans and head off to California? And if we are expected to return to work, can we then resume some semblance of our social lives? And will the plague spike again and wreak fresh hell upon us all because of our cussedly foolish need to "get back to normal"?

Well, anyway. Goodbye, April. Thanks for not killing me.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts
Total Number of Cases: 17,985 (up from yesterday's 17,182)
1006 people have died.

Daily Gratitude:
My planner. Even on the days when I am not using it, it's there, offering me a chance at order in all this formless chaos.

Daily Funnies:

Plague Diaries, Issue 48: April 29, 2020

Good evening, my quarantine comrades! I will launch tonight's blog with a rant.

"Guilty pleasures" is not a phrase I am totally okay with. Guilt can imply shame, and thus imply that we should be ashamed of the things we take pleasure in. And can make us feel as though we are maneuvered into a position in which we project to the world that really, most of the time we are reading Infinite Jest and watching The Criterion Collection and consume only the best and most refined of everything. No, I do not read David Foster Wallace and watch documentaries and eat tofu sauteed in oatmilk and kale for a snack. I do not eat dairy-free ice-cream and call it an indulgence. I snarf down cheetoes and re-read historical fiction by Cynthia Harrod-Eagles; I watch costume dramas and superhero movies. And I'm not ashamed of it. Maybe that makes me boring or basic or boujie, or whatever word we want to use to cleverly dismiss the pleasures and interests of women, but I don't feel guilt or shame. They aren't guilty pleasures. They are things I enjoy. My vocabulary might be a bit more varied than the average bear, but I don't pretend to have elite, high-falutin tastes and interests. I like what I like.

Where am I going with this? Bear with me.

One of the things I like are YouTube Influencers and their vlogs. It's a little amusing, really--it's a bunch of bright young things, blondes and vegan yogis and lovely ladies with hair extensions who do hauls and and posh apartment tours and have podcasts and live in L.A. The opposite of me in every way. But nonetheless, I've been devouring these videos for years now, but especially right now during quarantine. They are usually light--although often these women do strive to show their authentic, vulnerable selves--and frothy, and dammit, they help me feel less alone right now.

And what's also funny--these ladies also help me feel more connected. A lot of times, the trends I learn about, the latest slang and phrases, I hear from them. So, they are who have helped keep me in the loop about the various microtrends of quarantine. Here are the seven which have caught my attention--only one of which I am actually partaking in. 

1. Tie-dying sweats and other clothing articles
Holy hell, what is it with all the DIY tie-dye going on? And will people actually wear these when our pasty-faced selves emerge from our homes? I already resemble a colorful marshmallow already; I'll happily sit this one out.

2. Dalgona Coffee

Tik Tok did not make me do it. 

I wouldn't be adverse to trying this, but I sure as hell can't be arsed to make it on my own. My idea of fancy coffee is a pumpkin spice latte. (Yeah, okay, so I AM basic and boring. Moving on.)

3. Tik Tok
Admittedly, Tik Tok was already a thing before the world started ending. And apparently, it's been a thing for a while! I hadn't heard of it before the last four months or so, though. And just like I don't care for short stories, I don't care for really short videos. YouTube is fine for me, thank you very much. But I am sure that Tik Tok has helped popularize the aforementioned trends of Dalgona Coffee and tie-dye.

4. Animal Crossing
It's a Switch game, released right around the time that the world started ending. Perfect timing for people shut indoors. I'm not a gamer, so this is not how I have whiled away my time. But when social and pop cultural historians look back on this time, they will know it has been a defining bit of entertainment for perhaps millions.

5. Ozark
Again, this was around prior to quarantine, but it seems like everyone is binge-watching it now. I like escapist television as much as the next person, but this just seems a bit...grim...for me.

6. Banana Bread
WHY IS EVERYONE MAKING BANANA BREAD? That shit is gross.

5. Tiger King
Ah, here we are. The one quarantine trend I am guilty of succumbing to. This trainwreck show about trainwreck people is great about making me feel so much better about my own life choices. But there's something that I have to say, something that has been bothering me: I think there is a lot of pretty obvious misogyny in this show. Not in the production itself, but certainly in the (mainly male) people who populate this series. It seems so many of the men despise That Bitch, Carole Baskin, and readily cast her into the role of antagonist because...why? She has the gall to go against them? Because she is her own person, and old enough not to be part of the harem? Because she is financially autonomous? Had she been male, would so much spite be directed at her? (I mean, these are rhetorical questions; we all know what I think, and there are people much smarter than I who can probably articulate this all so much better.) And if she did murder her douchey ex-husband and take his money (which I don't believe for a moment), so what? As my Eldest Sister laconically observed last week, "#lifegoals."

I'm not saying that these things are a result of quarantine, and the global pandemic. Probably, in all cases, it was a matter of timing. But it's quite interesting to see what's keeping First World folks (or a certain age, at least) occupied during these times.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts: 
Total Number of Cases: 17,182 (up from yesterday's 16,588)
964 people have died.

Daily Gratitude:
Looks like The Prof is feeling better, and whatever illness she had been struggling with has passed! I may be able to go to a grocery store or something--or walk outside and not feel guilty!

Daily Funnies: 

  

Plague Diaries, Issue 47: April 28, 2020

As we get closer to May 1, the conversations--national, personal, professional, and political--are focused on "reopening." Reopening the country, reopening the economy, reopening businesses. Reopening our lives, really. But because we don't have effective treatments for, or vaccines against, COVID-19, re-opening isn't going to be a resumption of our usual lives. And it's going to be a logistical nightmare, one from which I avert my eyes and thoughts.

It also makes me wonder--at what point do I declare finis to the Plague Diairies? When the governor lifts the stay-at-home order? When I go back to work? When I can gather in the same room with my friends? It seems like, especially as "normal" won't be happening right away, there will still be a reason to keep a "plague diary", if not every day, a fair amount, at least. To observe the potential "second curve", the political, social, and economic fallout from the past few months; to record the simple pleasure of returning to a store and touching an object without feeling compelled to buy it; to note the sheer delight of falling into the arms of my sisters.

Well, all of this is speculation; it all will come to pass at some point soon, but I don't spend too much time on this cool spring evening thinking about it. I'd rather lay in bed and smile as I think back on the day: productive work done; a lengthy Zoom birthday party with friends; various small tasks accomplished; a delightfully frothy period drama series binged. And another plague diary entry completed.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts:
Total Number of Cases: 16,588 (up from yesterday's 15,961)
901 people have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
Thus far, our Indiana governor, Eric Holcomb, has been incredibly sensible in this crisis, and while it's no more than what we deserve--we are lucky. Is it too much to hope he continues to be cautious for just a little longer?

Daily Funnies

Plague Diaries, Issue 46: April 27, 2020

Yesterday, I was in bed, huddled under my weighted blanket, trying to fall asleep by 8:30 p.m.

It wasn't that I was tired. I wasn't, not particularly. I wasn't feeling poorly, either. I simply didn't want to be conscious. Cheerful, huh?

This did have an unintended benefit; I was wide awake this morning at sparrowfart on Monday morning. By 5:30 AM, I was on the exercise bike; by 7 AM, I was showered and dressed and my hair was blown out ; by 9 AM, I had two cups of coffee in me and was completely alert and not...totally unhappy about it. I wouldn't say it was a good night's rest that restored me. Hell, I wouldn't even say I am restored. But I was really, really happy for it to be Monday, with a fairly-full schedule (at least by quarantine standards.)

Y'all, I did work today. Like, a substantial amount of work. My library is transitioning into a new phase of closure, whereby we will be providing more remote services as well as planning for our gradual re-opening, so there's more to do, and more less constraints on who can do it. And so--I got to do work! I provided remote reference to one patron, and it was all I could do not to chase them through the Internet, screeching, Come back! Let me tell you about everything we can do for you right now!

For a brief moment, Austen got distracted from
his goal of preventing me from doing any work.

Funny--things that were rote, unremarkable, everyday obligations and professional duties a mere two months ago are now delightful possibilities for unique, special human interactions.

Clearly, I am doing a bit better than I was doing yesterday. Weekdays, and the attendant routines, are better than the weekends, I think; knowing that, I will need to try to do some things to add more structure to my new foes, Saturday and Sunday. What do you during the weekends to keep things from falling apart into loneliness and whats-the-point-iness?

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts: 
Total Number of Cases: 15,961 (up from yesterday's 15,012)
844 people have died.

Daily Gratitude:
I can't believe I am saying this...but I'm grateful that it's Monday. Yup, these are End Times.

Daily Funnies:

Plague Diaries, Issue 45: April 26, 2020

TFW the high point of your day is when you've cleaned your glasses and you can see much more clearly...followed by the low point when you realize you can see things much more clearly.

I spent two minutes last night describing to Middle Sister a tense political standoff between my two cats as they fought for preference over two dishes of the same kind of cat food.

Y'all, I think quarantine is finally starting to get to me.

Mood.

Those who know me best know that I am undeniably an extroverted introvert. I like some socializing and adventures (planned out is preferable) but I need a lot of alone time to decompress and recharge. But I need meaningful interactions in my life with trusted and beloved family, friends, and colleagues. Like all of us, I need to be seen and known. But oh my god do I need my alone time. It was one of the (more minor) reasons why my marriage foundered, I think. So. Anyway, when I say that quarantine and social isolation are starting to get to me...I shudder to think of how more extroverted people are coping right now.

It doesn't help that I also live with the Black Dogs of  anxiety and depression. (I prefer to say live with, and not suffer.) For me, personally, routine helps keep those Black Dogs in their kennel. And so, it should come as a surprise to no one that, since mid-March, the Black Dogs have been barking louder. And the last few days, it's felt like they've escaped their kennel and are running amok through my head and spirit.

I don't say all of this now to alarm anyone. I'm not okay, but I'll be okay, you dig? I'm just putting it out there because, "Better out than in," and also, to let you know, in case you're struggling, you are not the only one. You are alone in your struggles in the same way that I am alone in mine--we are all on the front lines of a battle field in which there are only two opponents: me (or you) against the Black Dog of whatever mental/emotional struggles exist in our lives. And the thing is--the battle doesn't really end. The foe is often subdued, but never defeated. Sometimes the foe grows in strength and our spirits seem to shrink; sometimes we live with the foe as part of an uneasy Armistice, in which the foe jealously side-eyes our contentment and hope and suspects (rightly so) that we are building up our arsenal and shoring up our defenses with routine and self-care and therapy and positive relationships and creative endeavors and attempts at building up our self-esteem. We can never be certain when the next "hot spot" of the battle is, but in extraordinary times like this, it's just about a given that our Black Dog--our beautiful enemy--will attack.

I'm not okay. But I'll be okay. And for those of you who suspect that you're not okay--all I can say is that you have my kind thoughts and wishes, and my prayers that you are able to withstand this latest battle. The only way out is through. And how we are feeling now is not us--our thoughts and emotions and Black Dogs may be part of us, in a way, but they are not all of us. And this is not forever.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts:
Total Number of Cases: 15,012 (Up from yesterday's 14,395)
813 people have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
Prozac, therapy, and a solid support network.

Plague Diaries, Issue 44: April 25, 2020

Today was a lost day. A day lost, in a lost month, in what I suspect is quickly turning into a lost year.

Somewhere near my home, there was a plumbing issue. The water was turned off so people could come work on it, which means I couldn't cook, or shower, or clean, or do the laundry, or jolly well even brush my teeth or flush the loo. So chores were out. And then they brought in a jackhammer to dig up about six feet of sidewalk outside my home, so for a good while, relaxation and recreation weren't really possibilities, either. My usual strategy of "nap through everything, both good and bad" clearly wasn't an option. So I laid down on the couch, let go of any expectations of how my day should have been spent, and proceeded to binge watch the 2018 Masterpiece Theatre Production of Vanity Fair. 

Let this be a lesson to all of us: quarantine sucks, most definitely, but it sucks even more when you don't have running water.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts:
Total Number of Cases: 14,395 (up from yesterday's 13,680)
785 people have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
Uh, working plumbing. Duh.

Daily Funnies: 

Plague Diaries, Issue 43: April 24, 2020

It's been a long time, I think, since I've felt like Friday was Friday.

You know what I mean...being glad that the week of work and deadlines and meetings and dramas and obligations was at an end; being glad to have a couple of days to tend to sleep or chores or creative pursuits or fun outings with friends or...even nothing. Since the beginning of the plague, for so many of us, those concepts of weekdays and weekends have blurred together. And the anticipation and relief that used to come with some Fridays...well, it's just not there anymore. Because there aren't the same weekday stressors and challenges; nor are the adventures and treats and delights of a weekend.

Every now and then, in my pre-quarantine life, I would feel restless and wonder, Is this it? Is this my life for the next four decades? Post-quarantine, I can safely say, God, I hope so. Yes, please. It's definitely preferable to this lonely, liminal space.

Anyway. Happy Friday, y'all! I was actually able to get to do some work this week, so it felt more Friday than Friday has felt in a long time, if that makes sense. And I'm celebrating by sitting in my living room with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, the lights dimmed low, the windows open to let the cool spring air finger its way past the drapes, a candle burning, and a First Aid Kit acoustic concert playing on YouTube. Like all of you, I've got no big plans for the weekend, but that's okay. Rest is important, even now. Especially now, actually.

Something I came across today...

Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs. In order fill the needs at the top
of the pyramid, we've got to have the needs lower down filled first. 

Let's be kind to ourselves, and keep our expectations of ourselves and each other reasonable.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts: 
Total Number of Cases: 13,680 (up from yesterday's 13,039)
741 people have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
I think today may have been the loveliest spring day yet.

Daily Funnies: 

Plague Diaries, Issue 42: April 23, 2020

The other day, I stumbled across the above-mentioned post, and I had to pass it on--it's so true! It seems like for each good, productive, well-balanced day I have, the next day I seem to absolutely crash. And after yesterday's "good day", today was no exception. I did three things today: eat, meet, sleep. Meaning, I ate too much, I slept a lot (I was up at 8 AM and nodding off into a nap by 11 AM), and it seems like I attended a lot of work meetings. And those three things filled up the whole day and left me feeling like I did absolutely nothing. It's not the twilight zone...it's the Quarantine Zone, where time and space cease to exist and I'm not even 100% sure that I exist anymore.

Now night has finally fallen, and I'm looking back over the barren wasteland of today and cringed at how little I accomplished today. I mean, I'm not expecting me to crank out the next Great American Novel, but at the least, I should, I dunno, maybe do a load of laundry? foment revolution? up my cat eye game?

Not today, Coronavirus. Not today.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Cases:
Total Number of Cases: 13,039 (up from yesterday's 12,348)
706 people have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
In a work meeting today, I got to see a good many of my colleagues/reports--most of them for the first time in 6 weeks. And they all seemed healthy and holding up. That makes me very, very happy.


Daily Funnies: 

Plague Diaries, Issue 41: April 22, 2020

It's been a hot minute since I've been awake at sparrowfart. Maybe 6 months ago, when I was in Australia, bobbing about on the Coral Sea? Our "dive butler" would knock on our stateroom door at 5:45 am, bearing tea and coffee, and 15 minutes later, we'd be trussing ourselves into our stinger suits, still damp from the day before (ugh), and then hopping off the stern of the catamaran and plunging into deliciously pleasant waters teeming with vividly-colored marine life. Alas, I awoke at 6 AM this morning for no such lovely reason; I was simply just trying to re-set my sleep cycle. But it's really comforting to remember different times only 6 months (or a lifetime, really) past, when I was able to travel to the other side of the globe and see and experience amazing, different things.

The only amazing thing that I experienced today was that I actually did awake at 6 AM. It was worth it, though--by 8 AM, I had already made my bed, exercised, showered, and had breakfast--and the rest of the day followed a similarly normal, comfortingly productive routine. It was a good day. Perhaps the loveliest thing was watching Indiana wander out onto the porch and take in the many different smells and sights and noises of things clamoring for his attention:

 

A few folks have asked about The Prof's health. I'm not sure what to report--her symptoms seemed to abate, but over the past week, they've come back and are possibly slightly worse. We're monitoring things. It would be so much easier if we could just know if it were COVID-19. On the bright side, I have not yet presented any symptoms, so I'm not sick yet. Hurray?

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts:
Total Number of Cases: The current number is 12,438.
661 people have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
A good night's sleep!

Daily Funnies: 

Plague Diaries, Issue 40: April 21, 2020

I know, I know. By the time you read this, it's no longer 21 April. Hell, by the time I post this, it's no longer 21 April. For the first time since quarantine began, I've lapsed in my diligence in attending to a daily blog post.

The reason should shock none of you...it all boils down to sleep. As in, sleep is very problematic right now. I've been staying up until wickedly late hours; sleeping in until a sinfully late time. (My midwestern ancestors would have shunned me off the farm for this.) I nap for lengthy stretches at all times of day, which then keeps me up later. When I do try to go to sleep at a decent hour, I spend an inordinate amount of time awake, praying to the ceiling gods, and remembering the ducks that used to waddle past my apartment in college. (That, at least, is not out of the ordinary. I think of those ducks often. I don't know why.) And then when I do get to sleep...the dreams. Dear god, the dreams.

Finally, in the past couple of days, it all caught up to me, and I zonked out on Tuesday night at 8:15 pm. I awoke at sparrowfart (AKA 6 AM) today, and briefly enjoyed the dawn chorus, and reveled in the feeling of getting a solid amount of sleep, within conventional hours. Will this help kick-start me back into a normal sleep cycle, whereby I tumble into bed at midnight, think of the ducks for a few moments, and then go to sleep and dream about kittens and the wildly inappropriate romance of my late adolescence/early adulthood (both of which are regular guests in my usual, non-pandemic dreams)? One can only hope.

Meanwhile, it's amazing what one can get done when they awaken at sparrowfart. More on that later.

This fool's solution to sleep issues: He just tries to never wake up!

Plague Diaries, Issue 39: April 20, 2020

Today was one of those days which completely encapsulates what April is: a beautiful, fickle creature, who toys with us mercilessly, raising our hopes with the bright sun and then darkening them with unexpected clouds. For the majority of the day, it was truly fine--sunny and breezy with a bit of chill in the air. Later in the afternoon, I sat out on the deck and read and listened to the wind tinkle through the windchimes and watched as my cat wandered out and lifted his little snoot and sniffed at all the curious and beguiling scents on the breeze. But by the time I was done at The Prof's this evening, the weather had turned (as of course it must do it at this particularly mercurial time of year), and the clouds were gathering. The rain should start soon, which always makes me happy.

One of the unexpected losses I have encountered during this apocalypse has been the loss of my beloved Indianapolis. I love Bloomington, but I love Indy. Problematic though this city is, it's my favorite place in the world. There is so much I love about it--the architecture and the history and the restaurants and the landscape. But of course what I love most about Indy are the people: the friends I have made there over the years, the friends who in many cases have become a sort of family to me. I miss them terribly right now, and I also miss (and actually resent!), quite terribly, the freedom and ability to hop in my car and drive for a little less than an hour and pursue little adventures in The Circle City. I miss the delightfully frank conversations, the traditions that I am starting to build up, the shared history I have with the people I know and love them. I miss them all, so much.

One of my Indy friends, Dr. J, has been diligently creating masks for people, a labor of love and conscience and duty that will surprise no one who knows this incredibly warm-hearted and generous woman. Years ago, I showed up on her doorstep, a rather pitiful and emotionally lost waif trying to reconnect with her fiance, an old friend of mine, and Dr. J didn't hesitate to befriend me and take me under her wing, in the sweetest way possible. And today, the much-beleaguered U.S. postal service delivered a package from her, containing two of the masks that she created.

It was a powerful reminder of the people in my life, the people who I don't see right now, but who are still here, and who will be here (god willing and the crick don't rise) when I can finally, finally hop into my car and drive back to Indy and reunite with these people who I love so well.

In the meantime...

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts: 
Total Number of Cases: 11,686 (up from yesterday's 11,210)
569 People have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
Rain! Rain makes everything better. I like a little sunshine every now and then, especially at this time of year, but rain seems so much more cosy and calming and safe.

Daily Funnies: 

Plague Diaries, Issue 38: April 19, 2020

Sunday began with a nice long lie-in in the morning, and a wake-up Facetime call from one of my dear friends. It's hard to feel too terrible when you get reminders first thing that people care about you. Other than that, and a Zoom meeting with my book club group, it was a nice, quiet day. I rather fear that I may have hurt my left wrist doing (trying) yoga yesterday, so I have to keep an eye on that. No more downward-facing dog for me for a while. 

This is Indiana's version of down-dog.

With no plans left standing, and no definite end date in sight, I know many of us are struggling with a lack of things to look forward to. And perhaps that's partly on us--we cannot always fill our lives with bucket list trips to Australia and designer handbag purchases and big concerts and whatnot to look forward to. So I'm going to drill down to the little things I am looking forward to in the week to come: 

• I anticipate an uptick in my workload this week; it will be absolutely a joy to have more distractions and purpose.
• There's a simple vegetable curry recipe I'm quite keen to try, and a grocery delivery order due on Tuesday. If it all comes together, and I don't fuck it up, I'll have a new recipe in my repertoire soon. 
• Also on Tuesday, I've got a remote therapy session with my counselor. I daresay I need it rather more than usual. 
• I've been doing delivery from a restaurant once a week, so perhaps I'll try a new restaurant this week, and splash out on an appetizer too. 
• And of course, we're (hypothetically) one day closer to the end. 

What are you looking forward to in the coming week? 

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts

Total Number of Cases: 11,210 (Up from yesterday's 10,641)

562 people have died. 

Daily Gratitude:

Friends who call you first thing in the morning!

Daily Funnies: 

Plague Diaries, Issue 37: April 18, 2020

How can a day be so lovely, yet so wretched? I suppose I will have to chalk it up to yet another strange thing during these strange times.

It was a good day today; I mainly puttered about the house in a leisurely fashion, with nothing more than the usual apocalyptic nonsense to vex me. But by the end today, I was very sad, indeed. Lonesome and just feeling some sort of way, and strangely, homesick--not so much for Florida as a place, but for my Florida family and experiences and history. Whenever I travel there I resent going to that overheated swamp of weirdos which is, even now, redolent with the stink of my less than perfectly happy childhood and young adulthood. But now that travel is impossible, I want nothing more to be in that state, in the company of my sisters, griping about the heat drinking wine and eating cheese  and remembering years past and laughing about present absurdities. I want nothing more than to hear the rattle of tree frogs and crickets and cicadas and to walk on the beach and hunt for shells and drive the roads of my hometown and remember.

I love it here in Indiana and in Bloomington--the thought of being quarantined in Florida gives me the horrors--but oh, dammit, I do miss my family right now, and I hate that I cannot be with them.

To keep my sanity, I'll end by focusing on the good things today. It was an absolutely beautiful day today, fine and clear and bright and cool. I did another yoga session via Yoga with Adriene on YouTube and that was grand, to be able to direct my mind to things other than this current hellscape of sickness, both physical and spiritual, in the world. Middle Sister picked up the phone every time I called; I don't know that I could ask for a more supportive sister, especially now.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts
Total Number of Cases: 10,641 (up from yesterday's 10,154)
545 people have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
Downton Abbey. I've watched this show dozens of times before, but it's so solid and sumptuous and reassuring right now.

Daily Funnies: 

Plague Diaries, Issue 36: April 17, 2020

Happy Friday!

When I was much younger, growing up in Florida, I was raised mostly by my grandparents. These two delightful people, perhaps unintentionally, taught me a lot about many things, not least of which was the concept of the division of labour. Back then, my grandmother, Mawga, did most of the cooking, and my grandfather, Boppa, would do the cleaning up in the kitchen afterwards.

I remember this because, countless times, as soon as Boppa was done cleaning up, he would turn off the lights in the kitchen and announce, with great emphasis and ceremony, to no one in particular, "The kitchen is now closed." Now, I have no recollections about my response--whether I even acknowledged these pronouncements, or took the hint and didn't go in for a midnight forage, or thank him for cleaning up. But now, I definitely get why he was delighted to close the kitchen for the night!

Like most of you, right now, I'm spending a hell of a lot of time in the kitchen these days--either cooking, or foraging, or endlessly tidying up the fridge and larder, or cleaning up. And oh my god...the dishes. The dishes never fucking end. What the hell? It's this endless cycle of meal plan-supply acquisition-cooking-consuming-cleaning up. And the kitchen never seems to get quite clean enough, or even if it does, it doesn't stay clean very long at all.

I get it now, Boppa, I really do. Someone, please, close the goddamn kitchen. 

Oh, hi. I guess I'm someone. So tonight I did a fairly decent clean-up, turned out the lights, and stepped away. Through the weekend, I'll survive on leftovers, frozen meals, perhaps take-out, all served on paper plates unearthed from some forgotten cabinet. If I cannot microwave it, or toast it, I'm not looking at it. And two and a half days of not cooking or cleaning are what I count as an exciting weekend, these days.

Close your kitchens if you can, folks. You'll thank me for it. 

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts: 
Total Number of Cases: 10,154 (up from yesterday's 9,542)
519 people have died

Daily Gratitude: 
I've never been so grateful for my bigass kitchen. Even if it is temporarily closed.

Daily Funnies: 

Plague Diaries, Issue 35: April 16, 2020

When all of this started, when my social distancing journey first began, it began with a very sudden, rude awakening: I had to cancel a mini-vacation and a friend's out-of-state visit literally hours before it was supposed to begin. And then states of emergency were declared and travel was restricted into the US and my work was closed, and while I got used to disappointment at the very beginning of this shitshow (and I count myself lucky that I was able to be acclimatized to it, right at the beginning) I didn't think ahead to other potential plans that might also get cancelled.

Welp. Looks like we are now at that point.

I turn 40 on May 25 Sometime late last year, I somehow got it into my head that it would be a lovely idea to have a lovely long weekend house party, back where it all began--in Cincinnati, where I was born--with some of the folks who know and love me best, and longest--and could put up with a houseful of other people. Now, I'm not really a very eager party organizer, particularly when it comes to a party for myself. I always find myself worried finding a date that works for everyone, about finding a venue that will welcome everyone, about folks not enjoying themselves, not having enough vegetarian options, entertainment opportunities...to say nothing of the fact that jesus christ, how arrogant and full of myself am I, to throw a party for myself? Yet I powered through. I sent out some invites, and to my surprise, the people I invited agreed to come. I secured a lovely home for us to use as our base of shenanigans. And then...2020 came around.

I'd been holding off on cancelling my birthday weekend, even though I'd known for a couple of weeks that this needed to happen. Earlier this week, I maybe had a tiny meltdown with Middle Sister. While it's at the end of May that my birthday weekend is happening, the (now, it seems, optimistic) projections from National Institute for Health Metrics based those numbers on people Staying the Fuck at Home until the end of May. So...nope. Some Midwestern states like Wisconsin have figured that shit out, and have extended their stay-at-home orders until May 26. And I'll be goddamned if I'll be part of the problem, or encourage my loved ones to put themselves at risk.

So today, I pulled the trigger. I cancelled my trip. Even if the country does re-open at the end of May, I will not be doing the things that I wanted, because it's for the greater good. I'm absolutely very sad about it, but at least I'm not the only one who has to deal with these disappointments. My mom always told me, "Shit happens", and goddamn, that woman was wise.

Either that, or all those plans I've cancelled over the years have accumulated for some epic karmic retribution.

Daily Indiana COVID-19 Counts:
9,542 (up from yesterday's 8,955)
477 people have died.

Daily Gratitude: 
Hey, at least I'm alive and able to cancel plans.

Daily Funnies: