The Best of 2020. Which will be a reach.

But before I peace out of 2020...

Best Book I Read:

It's funny, you'd think with me having to Stay the Fuck at Home so much this year, I'd have read more. But for some reason my concentration was shot, and I only ready about 40 books this year. And very few of them really stuck out in my memory--which is nothing against any of the books. Some of them were really quite fine and buzz generating! The Girl with the Louding Voice and Shelter in Place both helped transport me. But oddly, it was America's First Daughter--a fictionalized account of the life of Thomas Jefferson's daughter--that I consider the most memorable, if not the best. I read it about a month before the elections, and it was oddly comforting to read about the governmental dysfunction and toxic party politics that seem to threaten our country from the outset. 

Best Purchase I Made: 

If one good thing came out of this shitshow of a year, it's that I cooked so much this year. Like, more than I have collectively in my entire life. Which tells us less about how much I cooked this year, and more about how little I cooked (i.e., functioned as an adult) in the previous years of my life. Anyway, along with the cooking came the acquisition of several bits and bobs of cookware, including this lovely Dutch oven. It's no Le Creuset, but I'm not fancy enough of a cook to need that at this point; this is versatile enough for me. I've made breads, curries, chilis, soups, and pot pies in this, and my god, I do feel adult-y when I'm  hovering over this pot, stirring away.  

Best Recipe I Cooked: 

Am I actually starting to enjoy cooking? Perhaps, although I will never be anything more than a barely-competent cook. However, I don't enjoy meal planning, so I rely mostly on Dinnerly for my weeknight meals. Nonetheless, I've enjoyed finding and trying out new recipes, and the one that I enjoyed the most this year was this (surprisingly healthy) shrimp and veggie skillet recipe. It was colourful and flavorful and rather delicious.

Best TV Show I Binged: 

Back in January, almost a year ago (!!!) when I was laying on my couch, possibly dying of Coronavirus (I'll fight you on this one; I know I had it), I had very little energy or will to live, so finally settled down and binged all of the existing episodes of The Crown. It's a truly magnificent show, and yes, I am biased because I'm an anglophile, but fuck you. It's great. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and thought-provoking (Queen Elizabeth may be a bit of a cold fish, but goddamn, she knows her duty, and you cannot underestimate that, these days), and it's kind of perfect that I was able to bookend the year by watching the latest season in December when I was laid up with a bad back.

Best Song I Listened To: 

Back in early July, one morning I was minding my own business and walking a letter to my mailbox, I suddenly felt my ankle turn. This has happened countless times before, but something about this time was different. Even as I was falling, I was thinking, Oh, this is going to be a bad one. I smacked my head into the sidewalk; my left cheek hit the cement and I heard my front tooth make contact with the unyielding surface. Immediately I tasted blood; I had bitten clean through my upper lip. Somehow, I hauled myself up and posted the letter and walked back to my apartment, badly shaken and tearful and thinking, Not my tooth. Please god, don't let me have broken my front tooth. I managed to actually do work through a lot of the day, but I was legitimately traumatized, and it kickstarted me into one of my spirals. By the evening, I was exhausted, drained, shaky, I had a bruise and scrape on my cheekbone, a busted lip, and a tiny chip in one of my teeth. On top of that, my mind was doing what it always does with even the slightest encouragement (or, rather, discouragement): I'm clumsy and worthless and can't even walk in a straight line and I'm falling apart and I'm an ugly incompetent mess and everything is awful. I poured a glass of wine and sat in bed, and started to listen to the Decemberists song Everything is Awful. I sniffled and wept a little, and then Spotify decided to intervene and move onto another song, unbidden. And suddenly I was listening to a defiant, angry, brave, female voice bellowing...

"And sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on 
And your friends they sing along and they love you

But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap

And it teases you for weeks in its absence

But you'll fight it and you'll make it through

You'll fake it if you have to

You'll show up for work with a smile

You'll be better and you'll be smarter

And a better daughter or son and a real good friend

You'll be awake, you'll be alert, 

You'll be positive though it hurts..."

I sat there, with tears pouring down my battered face, listening to this anthem, and I have never felt more seen and validated in my whole goddamn messy life. And that night, Rilo Kiley's "A Better Son/Daughter" became my Song of 2020. 

Best Piece of Clothing I Wore: 

Ugh, SPORTS BRAS. DUH.

Best Picture to Sum Up My 2020: