Better Days

Today was an inexplicably, impossibly stupid day, for no particular reason other than I slept badly, and when that happens, everything seems so much worse than it would otherwise be. I dragged myself through the day without making anyone cry (other than myself), and some days, that's the best one can aspire to. 

But! Instead of fixating on grumpy things, I'm going to turn what little energy I have towards making a list of the things I'm looking forward to "when the war is over."

In no particular order:

• Concerts: First Aid Kit, Dropkick Murphys, the Decemberists, The Avett Brothers, Def Leppard, Tim Grimm, Dar Williams, whatever. I'm here for it. 

• Happy hours, or hell, any hour spent at Bloomington's skeeziest bar, the Vid

• Haircuts: Oh my god, y'all. I'm turning into Cousin Itt over here. Either him (them? It?) or Thing One or Thing Two. Possibly Thing One and Thing Two. 

• Hugs and handshakes: Seriously, if it weren't for my cats and my neighbor's dog and the fucking technician who gave me my mammogram last summer, I wouldn't have gotten any touch at all. Watch out, is all I'm saying. 

• Cuddling my friends' kids.

• Movie theatres, preferably the ones with big, capacious seating. 

• Buffets. Yes, I'm an American. Deal with it. I want nothing more than to get the meat sweats at Fogo de Chao. That is the summit of my ambitions and desires, y'all. This is what it's come to. 

• Getting within 6 feet of a friend or colleague without feeling guilty, scared, ashamed, worried, twitchy, or some combination thereof. 

• Everything else: travel, state fairs, casual shopping excursions, visiting friends overnight, sporting events, museums, swimming in public places, fuck, even going to the gym or talking with strangers or getting on an airplane. And of course, not worrying about everyone I know and love. 

Reading over this list, I'm acutely aware of how privileged I am. I know this. This isn't a lament of all the things I am lacking (or at least, it's not intended to be); it's an anticipatory celebration of the gradual, safe return of so many things, customs, events, freedoms, options, and interactions I took for granted. It's a persistent hope and belief in brighter, better days ahead. Hopefully days much better than this one.