Reasons to Stay Alive

 Today, I finally finished a book that's been on my "book-it list"  for a while: Reasons to Stay Alive. 

More or less, it's what you think--a book about depression. It's mostly memoir with a smidge of self-help; the author shares his struggles with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation, and also his gradual recovery. Parts of it were a rough read, as one might expect, but parts of it were extraordinarily comforting. On the one hand, the author didn't say anything that I didn't already know...but on the other hand, I felt seen. One of depression's most common weapons is its way of isolating us, making us feel completely alone and like no one else has ever gone through anything like it. So, it's reassuring to once again see a fellow soldier in the trenches. 

Towards the back of the book, the author shares some reasons to stay alive, reasons he had crowdsourced from people online. The reasons were in turns poignant, petty, painful, profound--and all resonated, in some way or another. And it made me think--it can't hurt to have my own list of reasons to stay alive. It's probably a good thing to have in my "toolkit." So, without further ado...

Reasons to Keep Buggering On

• First and foremost: there is a small clutch of people who would be left completely devastated if I exited this Earth. So, I gotta stick around. In other words: Love and duty are the foremost reasons to stay alive. 
• My cats. I'm responsible for these handsome, entitled little fuckers; I give them love and cuddles and food and kindness and shelter, and they are my responsibility. 
• The music of First Aid Kit--both their existing body of work, and whatever future delights they will produce
• Thunderstorms, particularly as they are approaching
• The cacophony of crickets and cicadas on warm summer nights
• The silent glow of fireflies lighting up those same summer nights
• The hugs of both of my brothers-in-law. Seriously, those dudes can hug.
• My Aunt Jo's cooking
• My Eldest Sister's Cooking
• Chris Evans as Captain America
• David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor
• All the books that I still have to read
• The words "crockery" and "cookery". Seriously, what great words!
• My sisters
• Tacos!
• Also, cupcakes. 
• All the places I haven't yet explored with my Travel Companion and North Star, Brian
• The simple contentment that comes on a random day, on which nothing remarkable happens one way or the other
• The sound of ocean waves breaking on the shore
• A good night of sleep, and the feeling of refreshment that comes in the morning
• Also, the feeling of faith that I cannot shake when I say, things may look better in the morning.

What are your reasons to stay alive?